Happy notes needed.

=(

I'm not very happy at the moment. Need some source of happiness to defeat the depress feeling.

Just sometime I'm trying my real best to do my stuff but it progressing damn slow. I know, but I can't make money grow. =( I'm sad...I'm really doing things I should do, I know...but....who cares anyway.

I brought all this myself. I know I'm the one to blame, no one else except me....I will definitely deal with it. I know that too...

I need more time, I wanna cry but I can't and it's killing me.

Just to sad to think about anything...never mind just focus on my studies.

X(

Sunday eh?

Adios amigo~

Pretty slow Sunday today eh? Haha don't really wanna do anything much today. Eat, surf net, look out of stuff, help out my parent to reset their phones, this that and so on....hmm pretty much nothing special.

Man, but I'm kind of tired with whatever I'm now dealing with. Like my work, studys and saving. Damn, I really wanna make a huge difference in my life now but I can't rush right? To think about it, actually is really nothing and all I have to do is to work harder. Of course, it feel tough but won't it be better for me to deal with it now or rather suffer later? I don't wanna drag any further as I just wanna be more independent than usual, to rely on no one except me.

Well, is not like world end or something. I'm actually happy with whatever things I have now and what I'm doing. Jiayou beh, Ruixian~ and just freaking look forward for the December's Korea Trip! WOOHOO!!!

Oh ya! And HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to my scary worst loan shark aka MUM!!!! heehee just kidding, she's a nice woman.

Like bored only...

Yup. That's right, like bored only.

LOL, alright anyway back here again to blog. Well not sure why am I back here to blog, but at least trying to type out my shit here for my future me to look back what kind and tons of stupid shit glorious shit I had done. Sound ridiculous right? Haha kinda hard to say why I'm doing this but maybe just purely wanna pen down what had I been doing or done in my past.

There had been times that I had fallen and broken up in to pieces, even though it's tough but somehow I still manage to get myself up with the people who cares and words of enlightenment to save me and remind me who I really am and what I should really do. I know sometime things happened for a reason, but what's make me dishearten the most is whereby you can't get to know the reason why, no matter how to try to find it. 

Haha, even though things had been happened for quite long time already but the feeling is there, at least not as bad as how it was. It just feels like an reminder or maybe like what many people said "one part of an experience in life". Heavy eh? Well just not allowing any negative shit get into my life.

Anyway thanks to you, I get to know my weakness, my needs and my goals in life. I know I'm not that strong enough but I will get better. I will love myself more before I start loving my future another half. But whatever I had done to you in the past, I will gladly take it as my lesson. Thank you what you had given, it will be buried deeply within me, eternally.  

I still growing and always learning. Cheers to my future and bring it on!

Long time no blog.

LOL hello to my dear freaking dead bog.

Haha, been damn while for me to blog again. So funny and weird that i decided to blog a little on my dead blog. Who cares anyway right coz there's definitely no one was even reading my blog or do not know it existence. LOL.

Oh well, let's talk about my recent life...

Everything is fine. Got into a good job with nice people and interesting environment. I really never thought i would get into a admin job inside a laboratory which was quite a surprising case for me. As for now, so far so good although i still get into some shit once in awhile which can be avoided thou lol. As for my current relationship with SIDD, everything is fine too but i'm getting a little impatient with him, is like whenever either of us spark the light to get us into a fight and i will get super angry with him to whatever things he said to me. Like not even a chance given to him at all...argh just plain angry, you know. Maybe i know him too much that's why when he start to give those crap, i will like just explode. Oh well, but seriously i wish can treat him sweeter and nicer than being an angry girl, even my poor idiot bf also hope i will be nice to him like how i treated him in the being of the relationship. But sometime i just think that  in order to get what you want, you have to give too. Am i right? Anyway, no matter how bad i treat my bf, in the end i still love him. Silly meow meow.

Alright then, i gonna sleep now. Tomorrow gonna have some Dota 2 session with sidd and his youngster bro at his house and jogging date too. Oh and i need to buy Yellow Sub to his house too coz his mum is craving for their nice beef burger *SLURP*.

LOL, ok then OYASUMI~

Boring Sunday...

Hi, i extremely sad today. Maybe lonely...

Been feeling quite tired and sleepy for this week, i was looking forward my weekends as i wanna buy something for my upcoming anniversary with love and wanna spend time going out with him today...but things didn't go how i expected. Yeah, expecting for things again...

Got pissed, upset, disappointed and whatsoever words which could describe the feeling when things didn't get in the way i want and hope for. Although getting myself knowing the news from him that he wasn't going to free for today, my heart just sink for no good reason. Can't help to feel that way and i lose myself...maybe i had either his house or mine doing nothing which had made me to look forward to walk around places like having some dates, seeing things and enjoying ourselves on my sunday...but sadly it didn't happened for today. 

I had been feeling a little unstable and getting paranoid for some issues. Maybe i got myself a little stress up for no reason...and i find it too unhealthy for me. And also the causes which is causing me is my dear bf is going for his NS real soon...finally the time is here and desperately trying to get back to my last time when i'm single and happily doing all sort of nonsense all by myself. But i don't know how, and i'm worried. 

I know i'm gonna for him for two years and it's a long wait, but i already wait for so many for him and after knowing him for two years, we finally got together...and to wait for him for another two years, it shouldn't be any problem for me...but i don't know why i feel worried and sad...i want to be happy while waiting. It's not like he gonna go somewhere or what...i must be thinking too much until it's out of my mind =.=.

Ah goddamn it. Screw it...one after an other. Shall find other things to do to distract...games or anime maybe.

I think i had enough typing nonsense here. Need to rest alittle now...chiao-su.

to be continued...

Gone case...

ADIOS~

Hello mina san~ i'm back to make my blog look alive abit, HAHA pathetic much eh. 

Woohoo one more week to go and i'm gonna be free bird from my current job^^ BUT...it'z also mean i gonna be jobless soon T.T. Seriously like my feeling now is so damn rojak, don't know whether should i be happy or to cry =.=. Sad much too, but still not that bad enough to "FML" you know. Althought there was some case which i failed myself on a job interview which i was hoping to get it and was quite excited by it but i screwed it all up by the thingz i said that bloody came out of my mouth...oh well what can i say. Thing had done been done, there'z nothing much i can rewrite about it and the only to stop it for happening again is to get my best shot for my upcoming interview (hopefully they call me up real soon T.T) and try not to make any silly mistakes. 

Ok enough about my stupid matter...woohoo~ my very first trip to Bangkok is coming damn soon already =D. Haha, althought i'm freaking leaving at next thurs but it is still kinda happy to get alittle excited about...Psst! somemore i'm freaking fly on a business class there BUT is by Scoot. LOL~ whatever~ Anyway i just hope i had a great fun and experience there together with my fellow friendz=). And also spend my time well with my SIDD as he is going for his NS enlistment soon at next Oct 30th=/ wish he will be doing fine when he gets in.

Alright then, i shall end my blog post here. Hopefully i will be back with more serious blogging business here=). Chiao-suuu~

HAHA, SIDD will definetely kill me if saw this. You think i care?! XD

to be continued...

Round and Rounder...

Hihi.

*yawnzxzx* Boring as usual.

Up till today, everything were so far so good...working eating drinking talking sleeping. BUT recently there'z a BIG problem on me...

I'M FREAKING GAINNING WEIGHT!!!! 

Damn, this is seriously happening. Sad life when i'm working in office with all sort of food temptation..well, actually that can be prevented, it'z just the person herself who can't resist when it'z about food =.=. So angry with me, now even my mum is making fun of me and my body with all the fat nonsense T.T. My mum is such a bully when it come to fatz, seriously no mercy T.T.

Anyway, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

I told myself and swear that i gonna cut cut cut cut down till my birthday comez. Hopefully i can get to 75 and below...AND I DON'T WANNA GET MOCK BY MY MUM WITH HER EVIL LAUGHER AGAIN....~

Haha, alright then. Gonna sleep now, O-YA-SU-MI.

to be continued...