Been feeling quite tired and sleepy for this week, i was looking forward my weekends as i wanna buy something for my upcoming anniversary with love and wanna spend time going out with him today...but things didn't go how i expected. Yeah, expecting for things again...
Got pissed, upset, disappointed and whatsoever words which could describe the feeling when things didn't get in the way i want and hope for. Although getting myself knowing the news from him that he wasn't going to free for today, my heart just sink for no good reason. Can't help to feel that way and i lose myself...maybe i had either his house or mine doing nothing which had made me to look forward to walk around places like having some dates, seeing things and enjoying ourselves on my sunday...but sadly it didn't happened for today.
I had been feeling a little unstable and getting paranoid for some issues. Maybe i got myself a little stress up for no reason...and i find it too unhealthy for me. And also the causes which is causing me is my dear bf is going for his NS real soon...finally the time is here and desperately trying to get back to my last time when i'm single and happily doing all sort of nonsense all by myself. But i don't know how, and i'm worried.
I know i'm gonna for him for two years and it's a long wait, but i already wait for so many for him and after knowing him for two years, we finally got together...and to wait for him for another two years, it shouldn't be any problem for me...but i don't know why i feel worried and sad...i want to be happy while waiting. It's not like he gonna go somewhere or what...i must be thinking too much until it's out of my mind =.=.
Ah goddamn it. Screw it...one after an other. Shall find other things to do to distract...games or anime maybe.
I think i had enough typing nonsense here. Need to rest alittle now...chiao-su.
to be continued...
